Clearly, We Need To Name-Bomb The Paranormal Activity DVD

Yesterday, I got an email (that’s right, I get emails, no big deal!).

As PARANORMAL ACTIVITY makes its way to the $100 million mark at the box office, we are thanking the fans who turned the movie into a nationwide phenomenon by featuring their names in the credits for the film’s DVD release!

Uh, you’re welcome?! So I followed the link to a website* where you provide your name, birthdate, and email address by the deadline of next Monday (11/9) at 12 PM PST, and your name will (supposedly) be included in the credits on the DVD release. Great! I haven’t even seen this movie yet, and I don’t know if I ever will, but I am very into being in the credits of this movie. Besides, I’ve done my part. I’ll send a copy of the DVD to my mom and just be like “Bam! No more talking shit about me in the Family Newsletter. I’m basically the President of Movie Credits now, it’s very impressive. Now the girls want to take ME to the movies.”

But then I realized something else: this is the perfect “mission” with which to launch our new prank troupe, Videogum Everywhere.

The over-arching goal of Videogum Everywhere is to bring joy into people’s lives by LEAVING THEM ALONE. None of our “missions” will ever interfere with anyone in their day-to-day lives, or create any kind of nuisance. We play by the rules in order to remind people that the magic of not being annoyed or bothered by anyone when you’re just trying to get through your fucking day is all around us.

So, let’s all get our names on the Paranormal Activity DVD! But like adults. Submit your real name, and only your real name, and only submit once! Don’t submit fake names, or they might shut the whole thing down. It seems pretty reasonable that they might shut the whole thing down anyway, but it certainly won’t be on account of Videogum Everywhere (REMEMBER THE MISSION STATEMENT). Give them your real email and your real birthday and then get out of there. We’re just trying to participate in something fun without causing any trouble, and hopefully without anyone even noticing.

*PRO-TIP: when I loaded the site on Firefox, it kept auto-refreshing and never let me register my name, but when I loaded the site on Safari I had no problem. So if the site is giving you trouble, try another browser! Now you’re cooking with internet!