Always go with what your dog wants. If your dog wants to sit up, let your dog sit up. Don’t forcibly pull your dogs legs out from under him or her, flattening your dog to the ground as you aggressively force your dog to submit to a massage of it’s head and back. If your dog wants to go out in the yard and play, let your dog go out in the yard and play. Don’t strap your dog to a board in the basement and thoroughly no-mo your dog against its well, tears from your tired, red eyes matting down his or her fur. Don’t scream at your dog about how important it is for dogs to receive massages from their owners in order to understand the love that their owners feel for them and how that love does not compare to anything that the owner feels for any human beings, unless your dog wants you to scream that.
Now you’re cooking with dog massage!