Let’s All Dress Up Like Billy Mays For Halloween

OK, I’ve got a last minute costume idea, you guys, but it’s only going to work if we ALL do it (and by all I mean everyone in the entire world. Even Europe.) From People:

The son of legendary pitchman Billy Mays, who died in June, has an unlikely message for those macabre souls who plan to dress up as his father for Halloween: Go for it!

Billy Mays III, who recently launched a Web site called Where’s Billy Mays? to honor his father’s legacy, has even decided to hold a Hallow-clean Contest in which he’s asking people to send in photos of themselves dressed as his dad for Halloween. He’ll select three winners to receive various Billy Mays goodies as prizes.

While some might see the contest as inappropriate, even tasteless, Mays’s consistent message on his Web site is that people shouldn’t take everything so seriously, particularly themselves.

Whoa. Easy with the editorializing, People. Some might see the contest as inappropriate, even tasteless? That is not the clear-eyed, objective journalism I have come to expect from People magazine. Just present the facts and somehow make them relate back to Jennifer Aniston’s love life like you always do, please. Besides, if anything, the contest isn’t as inappropriate and tasteless as the name of that website. Where’s Billy Mays? He is in heaven. Because he died. Dot com.

But who are we to judge how Billy Mays III reacts to the loss of his father? Who are we to say what is or is not appropriate or tasteful?

Nobody! If he thinks that having a Halloween Costume Contest, which is historically one of the worst kinds of contests, to award people with whatever Billy Mays goodies and prizes even means, just a few short months after his father’s death, that is his business! Literally. He runs a business for this.

But I think we should all do it. It would be amazing if the support for this contest was overhwelming in historic ways. Millions of people around the world dressed in that blue button-down shirt, with the beard, and the thumbs up. All of us chanting “GIVE US THOSE BILLY MAYS GOODIES AND PRIZES. PICK ME! PICK ME!” And then we lift Billy Mays III onto our shoulders and we cry “YOU ARE OUR BABY! OUR PRECIOUS BABY BOY!”

Right? You guys? Hello?

P.S. Hallow-clean = Hallow-BOO.