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It’s Official, Everyone’s Diamond Shoes Are Too Tight

I know that sometimes my diamond shoes can get too tight, but sometimes it takes a really :( news story to remind you just HOW tight diamond shoes can really get. Like this one, in which a man in Bangladesh won a 14″ color television for killing more than 83 THOUSAND rats. From the AP (via WarmingGlow):

Mokhairul Islam, 40, won a first prize of a color television for killing some 83,450 rats in the past nine months in Gazipur district near the South Asian country’s capital, Dhaka. He collected their tails for proof.

“I am so happy to get this honor,” Islam said after receiving a 14-inch television and a certificate amid cheers at an official ceremony packed with 500 farmers and officials. “I had no idea that the government gives prizes for this… This is an exciting moment. I will continue to kill them,” he vowed.

Oh, incidentally, the “contest” is part of a national campaign to reduce food imports as a step towards domestic resolution of a national food shortage. Yay?

I wonder if they sell suicide guns on QVCHD. “One diamond-plated suicide gun and one golden suicide bullet please. What’s that? It comes with a complimentary last meal? No thank you, I just ate as much food as I felt like and I don’t want any more of the plentiful plentiful food that is all around us. Hello? Hello? Goddamn Palm Pre doesn’t work for shit!”

[Ed. note: the image accompanying this post is a photo of children in Malawi, not Bangladesh. In Malawi you can buy rats off a stick as a delicious snack from child vendors on the side of the road. SO DON’T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT, CLEARLY THEY’RE FINE.]