An Open Letter To Celebrities Who Will Not Stop Doing Kanye Jokes

Dear Celebrities Who Will Not Stop Doing Kanye Jokes,

During last night’s Emmys, three separate references were made to Kanye West’s interruption of Taylor Swift at last week’s MTV Video Music Awards. That is actually fewer than one might have expected, but it is still at least three references too many. At least most of them were just spoken allusions to the nontroversey, but the worst was Justin Timberlake’s self-satisfied improvisation:

Yuck. With his smirkface and his rude jokes. You know a joke is successful when it gets no laughs and you feel compelled to follow it up with “no, but seriously.” The worst.

But he is not the only one! All kinds of you guys are doing this.

There was the aforementioned Jack White interruption of a film’s presentation at the Toronto International Film Festival this weekend:

And here’s Jimmy Kimmel pulling a “Kanye” at a Killers concert (huh?):

Here’s the thing, Celebrities Who Will Not Stop Doing Kanye Jokes, we all have the Internet. We’ve all seen the Kanye meme. It’s old news! Do you know what you look like when you grab the microphone out of someone’s hand and do a lame, half-hearted Kanye West impersonation? You look like someone’s embarrassing uncle at a wedding. You look like Jay Leno.

Cut it out. It’s over. Have one of your assistants write you some new material. Have your pilates instructor vet your stuff first to see if it works. Have your stylist sew needles into your tuxedos that poke you every time you make a terrible joke. Make a prostitute tell you to fucking stop it.

The People You Have Clearly Stopped Trying to Impress