The Perfect Crime Revisited

It is 2009, so it just makes sense that the FCC wants to re-open the 2004 Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake Superbowl halftime show obscenity case. IT JUST MAKES SENSE. Justice must be served. Some of the kids who were irremediably scarred from seeing a flash of Janet Jackson’s disgusting HUMAN WOMAN BREAST haven’t even graduated from college yet, so. From Broadcasting and Cable (via Defamer):

“The evidence in this case strongly suggests that CBS had access to video delay technology at the time of the 2004 Super Bowl,” the commission said Tuesday in a brief to the Third Circuit Appeals Court in the Janet Jackson Super Bowl Reveal case. The FCC asked the court to remand the decision back to the FCC so it could investigate further its assertion that the violation was “willful.”

And they would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those pesky gunshots to my face is this seriously still happening? Let’s get it together, America. Women are allowed to vote now, and one day they might even get to have their own drivers’ licenses and work as secretaries (in flying offices). But the FCC wants to reopen an investigation into whether or not a woman’s breast was flashed on television for two seconds five years ago? Shut it down, Horatio Cane. Shut it all down.