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But Where Is Taylor Swift’s Apology?

A lot has happened in the last two days (NOTHING has happened in the last two days*) since Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards. He posted an apology on his blog (PUNCH THE KEYS, YOU THE MAN NOW DAWG). Deciding that an ALL CAPS blogpology written by an assistant would not be sufficient, he then went on Jay Leno last night and apologized again, to Taylor, to his fans, and to his mother’s ghost. Obama has now called Kanye a “jackass” and he’s probably going to have to issue his own apology.

But where is Taylor Swift’s apology?

Obviously, Kanye West was wrong about a lot of things in this situation. For one, it was simply rude to interrupt a young woman in the middle of a speech, and to steal her moment from her. For two, he was wrong to think that there was any integrity in the MTV Video Music Awards. For three, Beyonce won in the end anyways, so that made him look Triple Dumb Cereal.

But on the other hand:

Kanye has always been a wide-mouth can. And “Single Ladies” IS far superior to whatever the Taylor Swift song is that won I don’t even know. And most importantly, his outburst has created one of the funniest Internet memes in awhile. e-Silver iLinings. So it’s not like nothing came out of this. Besides, the man has apologized on late night television, which seems to be the one thing America wants more than anything else. Constant televised remorse.

And where is Taylor Swift’s apology? She was on The View this morning (after which Kanye apologized anew) and I heard no apology from her.

Sure, she is the one who was wronged in this situation, but amends were made. Beyonce gave up her Beyonce Time so that Taylor could have more Taylor Time. If anything, this whole thing has made Taylor Swift more famous than ever. She should be thanking Kanye. But since public thank yous never seem to gain much traction, she might as well at least get an apology in there. For one, she can apologize for continuing to call herself a country singer. I HEARD YOUR SONG, TAYLOR SWIFT. That is a sub-grade Kelly Clarkson song is what that is. That is Avril Lavigne without the skateboard-flavored lip gloss.

Secondly, she can apologize for pretending like it was the fans and not herself who were injured. WILL NO ONE THINK OF POOR TAYLOR SWIFT’S FANS? No, David Blaine. None of these self-less heroics, please. Her fans were not really injured. If anything, no one was injured. And if she would like to apologize for making it seem like someone was injured when no one was injured, that would also be acceptable.

But, at the very least, she could apologize for tying up the already unreliable F train!

MAKE IT RIGHT.

P.S. Kanye’s blog seems to be down. CHARLIE SHEEN SHOULD WRITE A LETTER TO THE PRESIDENT!

*Seriously, like, I know that we are all just trying to figure out how to keep our eyes occupied until they fall out of our heads and return to dirt, but so much attention has been paid to this NONTROVERSY that it’s almost as if there were not two American wars being fought in the Middle East, a pandemic flu infecting millions, and a collapsed global economy. It’s almost as if MTV were still relevant!