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Behind The Music: Lil Wayne Was Not Quite Legendary

Weezy is the best rapper alive. We already know that. And unfortunately that seemed to be the only conclusion to take away from last night’s hour long season premiere of Behind the Music. They did a serviceable job of tracing Lil Wayne’s career path, and it really is a pretty show, with lots of nice images and good pacing and if you like the musician they are talking about then it also has a great soundtrack. Last night’s episode had plenty of those little tricks the show likes to play, like running “Dr. Carter” underneath the segment about Wayne accidentally shooting himself when he was nine. (He still has bullet fragments close to his heart that don’t move and won’t hurt him unless he, in his own words, “get in a magnetic field.”) But overall I think the show was a disappointment, Miss Katie. They kept his crazy to a minimum. There were no extended nonsensical mumble-riffs as promised in the advertising. And even if you are his biggest fan, you have to admit that Lil Wayne is a strange person, but not on this show. He was just a very hard-working performer, which is true, but there is more to talk about than that.

For one thing, they totally glossed over the Baby thing. Like, this is the story with Baby?

Uh…

I mean, sure. Whatever. But also no. Suddenly a nine-year-old boy went with you everywhere that you went? The end? It’s not like the world has already forgotten the infamous photo.

I mean, I’m just pointing out that there are questions involved in the Lil Wayne/Baby relationship that are not that easily dismissed. Especially when Wayne has been one of the fiercest champions of the No Homo movement, but then continually does such eyebrow-raising stunts. Such as releasing his own line of male-rape condoms:

No mention of Strapped on Behind the Music, no sir.

It was also strange how they tried to pretend like Lil Wayne’s brush with drugs was over? And not an on-going thing? Because that is how Behind the Music works and you have to have a story of redemption against all odds. Except that Lil Wayne is still drinking so much heroin out of styrofoam cups.

Yikes. Go ahead, Wayne. Drink whatever you want out of your cup, because you are definitely right that it is your cup. I’m pretty sure that when your family and friends expressed concern about your well-being, the issue of cup ownership was not the real problem. In any case, it is great that Lil Wayne doesn’t do drugs anymore (Lil Wayne smokes weed ON THE SHOW, which I did not know you could do).

Probably the worst part of last night’s episode was the shoe-horning in of Hurricane Katrina. Like, I have no doubt that Lil Wayne was affected by Hurricane Katrina, since he is from New Orleans. And I am sure he has done something to give something back to the community and help rebuild. But in his interview on the show he admits that during the storm he was in Miami, and his whole family was in Miami, and that he lost a $300,000 house and a few cars that he owned in New Orleans and that he didn’t care. But the narrator is like “and then Hurricane Katrina changed Lil Wayne’s life forever.” Did it? Because he just said it didn’t. Insert photo of George Bush. Boo.

This part was funny, in relation to Lil Wayne’s on-going charge of gun possession:

Hahahah! I’m actually willing to believe that the gun didn’t belong to Lil Wayne, but I am not willing to believe that it belonged to this guy. This guy? No. Dude in the Bruce Villanch glasses was not the one with the gun on Lil Wayne’s tour bus. You don’t have to take a bullet on this one, Farnsworth Bentley.

Anyway, if you did not know it before, after watching last night’s documentary, now you do know: Lil Wayne is a famous rapper. The end.

POSTSCRIPT: Shout out to Sasha Frere-Jones!

Y’HEARD!