Kids Run Away From Home Over A Bacon Dispute The Darndest Things

Whoa. David goes to the bacon dentist.

The fact that he keeps calling a grown woman a “little girl” is some pretty heavily-coded (or lightly-coded?) racist shit, but everything else that comes out of this kid’s mouth is basically gold. Bacon is good for him! She acts like she is the queen and they are the sorry people! He is coming to the edge! He keeps losing at deals and he doesn’t want to make a deal anymore! He’s packing his bags! Someone should tell him that bacon is for closers. And that storming out angrily is much more effective without a My First Thomas the Tank Engine suitcase. (Via UniqueDaily.)