Boo Hoo, Soulja Boy, So Sad

Soulja Boy just wants to be taken seriously as a rapper. He doesn’t understand why there has to be so much hate in this world. It can’t possibly be because his music is complete garbage and because even in a video purporting to be a measured plea for respect he has to sit around pretending to talk into a stack of money like it’s a phone. That can’t be it. People are just jealous, probably, frustratedly checking their status on the Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt waitlist. Wondering when they will get to wear oversized costume jewelry like some kind of sight-impaired grandmother. “Finally, I can tell the time on this clown watch.” Why can’t you just let him be great? (I don’t think we are the thing holding you back, son. Also, you ARE successful, so what are we even talking about here?)