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This Is Your Music Video: Miss Lolitas’ “Amber Alert”

Oh boy. Don’t get me wrong: I HATE child abduction. Anyone who knows me knows that I have always been very anti-child abduction. I’m also against child murder. As far as I’m concerned, and I know this is a controversial opinion, there should be no child murder. There, I said it. You know what else there should be none of? This song. Woof. Or this video. Double woof.

I do love how there is absolutely no poetry to this.

The “Amber Alert” of the song is literally an amber alert. For a missing child. “Does it have a deeper resonance, like a double meaning?” “You mean, like, is it two Amber Alerts for two missing children?” They even used footage from a PSA about amber alerts for the video’s narrative. Good thinking. And that opening sequence? Where everything is really poorly edited and sentences get clipped? That really set the tone of this being about amber alerts.

ALSO: if you go to the Miss Lolitas’ (MISS LOLITAS!) MySpace page, their main publicity photo features the three of them wearing sexy “adult” outfits beyond their years, and also there is a pair of SEX HANDCUFFS. Perfect. As long as everyone involved with this has just really carefully thought it through completely, then who am I to judge.

P.S. Did you remember that in the music video for Soul Asylum’s “Runaway Train” there is an actual rape van? Somehow I forgot that part. Never forget that part. (Thanks for the tip, Emily.)