Pro-Tip: Not Every Piece Of Shit Has To Be Put On YouTube

I recognize that we live in a new era of over-communication, where every dull moment of our quotidian lives is meticulously recorded and broadcast. That’s just the way things are now. Your mom logged onto Facebook this morning and updated her status to: “I would like everyone to know that I am putting on pants, Lots Of Love.” Because your mom is on Facebook. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Surely there are a few things that we can keep to ourselves. At a certain point we’re going to realize that we need a dividing line between our boring public and our boring private lives. Aren’t we? Can we realize that soon? Because this shit is getting ridiculous.

For example, this video (after the jump) does not need to be on YouTube for everyone to see. Oh, here’s another Pro-Tip: DO NOT WATCH THIS VIDEO (AFTER THE JUMP).

I told you not to watch it! Your fault!


The worst part about this, besides the fact that it exists, and besides the fact that it reminds me that parents are horrible brain-dead monsters convinced that everything their children do is FUCKING MAGIC, is that now I have to actually think about it, not just in horror-flashbacks, but, like, it’s puzzling? WHO IS THIS VIDEO FOR (besides everyone)? “I’m going to post this on YouTube so that I can share your giant bowel movement with Janice and the rest of the girls in my Mah-Jongg Club. They’re going to love it.” What? Even her husband got home and was like, “Why on Earth did you tape that? Why are you showing me that? What do you do here all day while I am at work? Where is my divorce lawyer, I know I put him around here somewhere.”

This is the worst.

Shut it down. All of it.