Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Shoots Dog Hotels In A Barrel

On last night’s (UPDATE: rerun, but whatever) Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog made his Los Angeles debut, going around to expensive LA “dog hotels” and making jokes about what a horrible and ridiculous and insulting and depressing thing that is. What I thought about while watching this, though, was not so much about how rich people will always find increasingly bizarre and disgraceful ways to spend and flaunt their money (revolt!), but about how the Internet will always lose the battle to old media (what an important battle! I am so nervous to see how it all turns out!) as long as the Internet lacks the means to put together the talent and the production value of television. Because this clip, which isn’t even the funniest Triumph the Insult Comic Dog clip…it might not even be in the top 5 Triumph the Insult Comic Dog clip, is still funnier than almost anything “intentionally funny” that I’ve seen on the Internet in a long time* (unintentionally very funny trampoline accidents aside).

Part One:

Part Two:

“Condolences on the loss of your priorities.” Incredible.

*Admittedly, everything is kind of hazy right now. Like, I think the Raaaaaaaandy videos were probably as funny or funnier than this, and those were made for the Internet, but those were made for the Internet under the auspices of a movie production, which is still old media. Where do you draw the line? I don’t know, ask Fred. I’m pretty sure that Fred is the arbiter of where the line is. And, of course, old media produces as much if not more garbage than new media. Old Media is the mayor of Garbage Town. But you take my point, right? Like, the Internet is cute and we all get bored at work, but the Internet still isn’t very good. Maybe one day it will be. Keep going, Internet. I believe in you. Kind of.