Some Predictions For Gossip Girl Season 3

  • Chuck Bass dips into the Bass fortune to open his own chain of infused-smoothie stores, going head to head with Jambo’s Juice (CEO revealed in final episode with cameo by Breckin Meyer).
  • Serena Van Der Woodsen is found decapitated in her bed, with no sign of forced entry, and all of the blood neatly drained from her body. Special agents are called in to investigate. One of them is very open to the possibility of paranormal activity, and one of them is very skeptical.
  • Blair Waldorf gets pregnant. Chuck, Nate, Dan, Jenny, the mean girls, Wallace Shawn, Lily, Rufus, all pace nervously in the waiting room. When it turns out that the baby is black, a fight breaks out.
  • Dan Humphrey is also found decapitated in his bed. No one bothers to investigate.
  • Jenny Humphrey drops out of school (again!) to pursue a romantic relationship with Adam Duritz of the Counting Crows. He files a restraining order, and during the trial it is found that Jenny is clinically psychotic. She is institutionalized at a private hospital and has to start at the bottom of the social ladder all over again.
  • Rufus Humphrey and Lily Rhodes Van Der Woodsen make a suicide pact after their two children are found decapitated in their beds. Lily overdoses on sleeping pills and is later found in a pool of vomit and champagne in a $7,000 ball gown on the roof of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Rufus doesn’t end up committing suicide, because he isn’t sure if he’s ready.
  • In the season finale, Nate Archibald wakes up, and it turns out it was all just a dream. “That’s the last time I ever eat raw oysters right before bed HAHAHAHA,” Nate says. “Round Here” by the Counting Crows plays over the end credits.