The Legendary Jeremy Piven/Chris Kattan Feud Of 2009

Oh, this is great. Since Joe Rogan never took Dan Quinn’s bait, a feud between Jeremy Piven and Chris Kattan will have to do. Which is fine, since Joe Rogan and Jeremy Piven are basically the same person. They are both the poor man’s version of each other. From the New York Daily News:

Backstage at Alexa Chung’s MTV talk show on Thursday, the “Entourage” star got into a screaming match with fellow comic Chris Kattan over the fishy situation.

Kattan – who’s been in town talking up his IFC miniseries “Bollywood Hero” – greeted Piven with a snarky, “So, what are you here to promote, your Broadway play?”

HAHAHA, OK, FIRST OF ALL: a feud between two grown men that begins “backstage at Alexa Chung’s MTV talk show” is already basically EPIC. But also Chris Kattan got in a pretty good zing! You know, because of Jeremy Piven’s persistent Fish Lie. He’s the zingonator, makin’ copiiiiieees. (That’s Chris Kattan, right? Perfect.)

Anyway, Jeremy Piven, like all bullies, smiled and laughed and realized that he was an adult, and that he could take some gentle teasing from a fellow professional comedian, so the two men shook hands and put it all behind them.

Just kidding.

Piven, who famously dropped out of “Speed the Plow” in December, is in a legal battle with producers who believe the actor fabricated his illness in order to get out of completing his contract, and was none too happy to be reminded of the incident.

The actor sniped back irritably, “Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?” – a reference to Kattan’s swishy “Saturday Night Live” stripper character.

HA! That is a pretty good zing, too! Jeremy Piven, head of his own Zingtourage, makin’ copiiiiies.

Since they are two grown men who’ve built careers on their abilities to make and take a joke, though, this is where it ended, with a couple of well traded barbs, backstage at a television show for teenagers.

Oh, no? Right, no.

The actors continued to bark for a few minutes, but while Kattan thought the argument was in jest, Piven did not.

Says an insider, “After some back and forth, Jeremy said something really personal to Chris that basically attacked his career. He said ‘Whoa, man – I thought we were just fooling around here.'”

Not the right thing to say to the man who plays Ari Gold, apparently. “I’m getting sued for that s–t!” the actor shouted. “It’s not funny!”

Our source adds, “Jeremy slammed the green room door right in Chris’ face, and about 20 people in the hallway outside could hear him yelling obscenities. He was furious.

“Chris felt really badly about the whole thing, so about 15 minutes later he tried to approach Jeremy again to apologize, to tell him he was just kidding and that he didn’t mean to offend in any way. But Jeremy wasn’t having it at all. He slammed the door in Chris’ face AGAIN.”

Haha. Man, Jeremy Piven. Just the best dude. It’s incredible how he’s able to portray a mean-spirited, overly aggressive, self-involved, petulant, narcissistic nightmare of a shithead on television. Acting! I bet he wins an Emmy for this feud.