Jay Leno’s New Show Is Going To Be Nuts! (It Is Not Going To Be Nuts)

At the critics press tour in Pasadena, whatever that means (seriously this time, what does that even mean?!), Jay Leno “took the stage” (OK, so there’s a stage? It’s like a concert. A Jay Leno concert. For critics? Are the critics on tour, or is Jay Leno on tour? Anyway!) to offer up some highly anticipated details about his new 10PM show. Phew. The anticipation was killing me. “Ack!” So what will it be like?

  • “The Jay Leno Show” will have a fast opening sequence, about 10 seconds, before launching into the host’s monologue.
  • There will be one celebrity guest, perhaps two at most.
  • Musical segments will sometimes feature multiple acts performing together — like on the Grammys when famous artists are teamed together.
  • Leno’s signature comedy bits like Jay Walking and newspaper headlines will be saved for the end of the show, where Leno will tell viewers to stay tuned for the local news (this is the only part of the show where Leno might have a desk).
  • Additional segments include bits like advertiser-friendly “Green Car Challenge,” where celebrities race against each other in alternative fuel vehicles. (NBC has built a race track next to the studio [a race track next to the studio!] where guests can compete against each other. [“You can see who is faster, Shaquille O’Neal or Cameron Diaz,” Leno said.] [Ugh!])
  • Other segments will feature comedian correspondents doing taped segments, a bit like on Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” (though Leno rejected that comparison). D.L Hughley will report on politics from Washington, for instance, and “Hangover” actress Rachel Harris has been tapped as well.
  • NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams will also have a regular bit on the show — “Stories Not Good Enough For Nightly News.”

Can I tell you something? A lot of this stuff actually sounds fine. Limited interviews with “people” who have nothing to say, potentially surprising musical performances, and occasional bits with Brian Williams? Who doesn’t love Brian Williams? But there is just one problem:

This man is the worst. It’s impossible to forget that. At one point there was talk about him opening each show by driving onto the set in a different antique car from his airplane hangar full of antique cars. Yuck. Maybe that’s what the “quick, 10 second opening” is. In the event that someone actually convinced him that this was a bad idea (because it was), he still managed to work in the Green Car Challenge. Why don’t they call this show Jay Leno Is Interested in Cars, Like, A Lot, and Now He Has A Show That Features Cars If You Like Cars and Want to Hear Jay Leno Talk About How Much He Likes Cars. I am all for raising awareness about fuel efficiency and the benefits of hybrid vehicles, but that sounds like a nightmare.

Oh, and they’re bringing “newspaper headlines” over to the new show? Good thinking. It’s 2009, so that’s just something that it makes sense to keep doing. Because of how interesting and hilarious it is.

Well, I am just as much not looking forward to this show now as I was…not…before I knew what the show was going to be like. Surprise. (Via the Hollywood Reporter.)