Tiny iPhone Steering Wheel Is Tiny Reminder Of Why Nerds Are Lonely

Nerds, cut it out! I know that you figure that life has been hard enough, what with the always being picked last and shoved into lockers and stuff and that you deserve to be free to find your fun wherever you can. And I’m not saying any of that is even remotely fair, we all deserve to live our lives without the constant threat of abuse (both physical and psychological) from people we haven’t harmed in any way. And we all deserve to take whatever joy in life we can find. But you also have to take some responsibility at this point. You’ve created a steering wheel to play a $0.99 videogame on your telephone. It has a suction cup to make sure that there is no “unnecessary motion.” You know where else there isn’t any unnecessary motion? In your bedroom.

I am sorry, that was lazy. You know what else is lazy? Buying a fucking plastic steering wheel with a suction cup on the bottom to play driving games on your telephone. I don’t care if you do get an employee discount at Game Stop. Nerds, I know it might not seem this way sometimes, but I am actually on your side. Help me help you. You should play that game on your phone where you enter secret codes and it puts you in contact with a girl. And then you should experience the thrill of being behind the wheel of a real vehicle in your mom’s car. Whatever gets you out of that fucking basement. I don’t care if it’s finished and has a mini-fridge! Clean the fudge off your face! Get up! (Via Kotaku.)