Someone Has Clearly Fast-Tracked Tucker Max’s I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell For The Worst Movie Of All Time

In case you don’t know who Tucker Max is (lucky!), he’s some shithead blogger who blogged about what a shithead he was and then turned that into a book and now they’ve turned that into a movie, and holy shit, you guys, I hope you brought your cyanide capsules because I’m not sure how we’re going to get out of this one! The enemy is all around us!

What is this? This is a movie? This is not a movie. It’s like they swept up The Hangover’s cutting room floor, Tucker Max jerked off onto it, and then dropped it into a vat of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? “Dip.” (No offense to The Hangover.) My apologies to Driven and Pay It Forward and Bicentennial Man. You are all wonderful masterpieces in this new world order. (Elizabethtown is still a piece of shit.)

This quote from Tucker Max, via Gawker, is hilarious:

Yes, the tickets are only $10. I know we could have charged $20 or even $30, but we decided that if the point of this is to reach out to fans and experience the movie with them, then we should make the price as low as possible to include as many as possible.

His Gwyneth Paltrow impersonation is priceless! Not to be all Professor of Movie Ticket Economics over here, but since when does the guy who wrote the blog that the movie is based on determine the price of movie tickets? If that was the case, then they should charge whatever the final budget of this movie’s production was for each ticket (upwards of $400!), that way when Tucker Max’s mom goes to see it (alone, Tucker Max’s father wanted to take a nap instead), they will at least recoup their losses. Their losses, not ours. Our losses are immeasurable.

We’re gonna need a bigger one of these:

Maybe instead of water we can put bullets in this thing?