Videogum

Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Monsters! I have news for you! So, as you may have noticed, it is no longer possible for any creep to “walk” in off of the “street” and vote on comments. Voting is now reserved for registered users. (Of course, it’s entirely possible for any creep to “walk” in off of the “street” and register an Official Videogum Commenter Account, and the creeps are encouraged to do so [and the non-creeps are doubly, if not triply encouraged to do so].) This means that scores will be lower this week, but they will also be truer*. Good.

Eventually, we will also fully implement the rule that only registered monsters will be eligible for the Ball, so how about you just register? I’m not trying to give the hard sell here, I am just saying that a registered Videogum commenter account has definitely been upgraded from a SELL to a DON’T BUY.

Let’s to it, then.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5

At least he was a better actor than Hayden Christensen

Posted by: ThereIsNoGreen in response to We are All Aging Anakin Skywalkers
Score = 80

#4

Posted by: TalbainJ2: TalbainJ Harder in response to Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments (7/24/09)
Score = 83

[Ed. note: For those of you who don’t know what this is, you should really know what this is, because it’s hilarious. A few years ago, Bill O’Reilly invited Cam’ron and Damon Dash to have a debate about the effect of hip hop on young people. Naturally, it was awful. But at two different points during the “debate,” Cam’ron just laughed and said “you mad” to whoever was talking, which is simultaneously the best and worst thing ever. Best because it is so funny, and you can take it with you as a funtimes reference. Worst because obviously it is so rude. Enjoy.]

#3

I can’t even front: I cried. (Just a little!!!)
Loved it all–awkard attempts at c-walking, uncoordinated Matrix interlude, ginger groom tumbling into my heart, charming bride killing me with her too much adorable.
Jill and Kevin Awesome Dance Great Job!!!

Posted by: alexandrararara in response to You’re Right, This Is My Wedding
Score = 95

[Ed. note: It is genuinely nice to see a positive comment make it onto this list!]

#2

As an east coaster, I hope my slave doesn’t watch this and start askin’ “What’s a union?”

Posted by: drewmo in response to A Brave California Woman Solves All The Problems
Score = 119

#1

Really? I didn’t see Gabe in audience…

Posted by: dude in response to A Brave California Woman Solves All The Problems
Score = 176

[Ed. note: Just to explain, since this is now out of context: the burn here is that this comment was posted in response to a comment about how someone in the audience clapped at the poor woman from California’s ridiculous speech. Do you get it? I am that woman’s boyfriend. I’M BURNT!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

FFFFFFFFFFFF-

WHEN ONE OF MY COMMENTS GETS TO +112, THE REST OF THE COMMENTS DECIDE TO GET TO RIDICULOUS LEVELS TO SPITE ME.

Posted by: TalbainJ2: TalbainJ Harder in response to Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments (7/24/09)
Score = -88

[Ed. note: You played yourself, Talbain! No one likes a complainer, even when they are complaining about something that matters. You did get a comment in the top five this week, but your combined score is still -5. That’s OK, though. Room to grow! Comment for the stars and you just might comment on the moon, or whatever. You haven’t been in the threads since this time last week, it’s time to pick yourself off the floor and come home.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

))<>((

This post reminds me of why videogum is so awesome. But it’s also evidence of a potentially growing issue for our fucked up family of monsters and hellspawn: the inside jokes. Videogum is kind of like Arrested Development. It’s infinitely hilarious because each post builds on the posts before. But as someone who tried to jump into AD in the middle of Season 2, I also know how frustrating that can be to newcomers. Luckily, you can go buy AD on DVD, start at episode one, and laugh your ass off for days. You can’t really do that with videogum. Sure, sometimes Gabe links to past posts when referencing them, but we’ve also developed a mini-language of one-liners like “ugh,” “the worst,” “your boyfriend,” etc. Those are somewhat self-explanatory and easy to pick up on, but others…not so much.

So, in the future, if I find anything particularly opaque, I’m going to post a helpful link to the source. I expect this may generate a number of “-1″s. This is a risk I’m prepared to accept. Do your worst, monsters.

))<>(( = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQoJo81lujk

Posted by: Dan S in response to Important News For Videogum Commenters

[Ed. note: Oh boy, I worry about this all the time! Personally, I always like things that are filled with inside jokes, even if I don’t get the jokes, because usually there are still plenty of jokes I do get and if there are jokes I don’t get maybe I will get them later. But I recognize that sometimes Videogum might be impenetrable to readers. I am sorry! It’s my defense mechanism, always pushing people away with hilarious inside jokes. To be fair, I’m not sure that “ugh” or “the worst” actually constitute inside jokes. Since they’re descriptive words, not jokes. But otherwise, this is a nice idea. If someone new shows up and they don’t get an inside joke, let’s just point them in the right direction, rather than shoving their head in the toilet.]

*OK, as it turns out, due to the transition in Scoring Policy happening mid-week, most of the highest rated comments are from before the change. But the scores will be truer next week, BELIEVE.