The Shake Weight Has Got To Be Kidding Us

Ladies, your bodies are so fat! It’s disgusting! You should be ashamed of yourselves! Luckily, many of you are. Good work, women’s magazines and all other media and also society! Ladies, it’s important to stay thin and fit and toned so that a man will give you a baby. Perhaps one of the ways you would like to do this is with a new invention called the Shake Weight? Check out these incredible facts:

  • Based on a completely new workout technology called Dynamic Inertia, which ignites the muscles in your arms, shoulders, and chest
  • Scientific studies prove that the Shake Weight increases upper body muscle activity by more than 300% compared to traditional weights
  • Works out your entire upper body in just 6 minutes a day

You love new workout technologies and scientific studies! This sounds like a dream imposed on you by the demands of a weight-and-physical beauty obsessed culture come true! Let’s see this thing in action. I bet it doesn’t look like you double-fisted jacking off a penis at all!

It is VERY IMPORTANT that you point the Shake Weight directly at your chest and/or mouth. Do you want to be pretty or not? (Thanks for the tip, Sachar and Sami.)