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Ceci N’est Pas Une Miley Cyrus Stalker

So it turned out that a guy who seemed like a Miley Cyrus stalker was a Miley Cyrus stalker. It’s just like Freud said: sometimes a Miley Cyrus stalker is just a Miley Cyrus stalker (Fun Fact: Sigmund Freud was addicted to cocaine). From TMZ

Georgia cops arrested Mark McLeod for disorderly conduct on June 23 in Tybee Island, GA [on the set of Miley’s new movie] — and during the incident cops say the guy made some very frightening statements about Miley.

According to the police report, McLeod claimed he was “great friends with Miley” — and that Miley had “told him to come see her today.”

Cops say McLeod also said, “I will f***ing be with Miley … we’re supposed to be together and [the cops] couldn’t stop it.”

:(. Hopefully Mr. McLeod gets the psychiatric help that he needs. Seriously. This must be treatable, as I have encountered this type of behavior on two separate occasions, so clearly there is some kind of pattern.

Both instances happened during college (that’s right, COLLEGE!). The first was when I was walking downtown with a friend of mine and we passed by a musical venue. The marquee read “An Evening with Joan Baez.” A homeless man was screaming at an usher in a tuxedo. He yelled, “GO AHEAD AND CALL THE COPS, JOAN TOLD ME TO COME HERE. SHE IS EXPECTING ME!” It was the formal social call of “she is expecting me” that I appreciated the most. We kept walking, so I do not know whether or not he was able to keep his appointment with Ms. Baez.

The second instance is probably my favorite though. Through most of college I worked at a corner store that provided over-priced groceries, magazines, liquor, wine, beer, and basic over-the-counter pharmaceuticals. The Midwest equivalent of a bodega. We also accepted bottle and can returns (by hand, yuck), and our central location made us a hotspot for the local homeless population, and over the course of working there it was impossible not to get to know some of them. One woman, Dottie, came in multiple times a day, and one afternoon, the day after a Bruce Springsteen concert, she regaled the entire staff with the story of how after hanging out with Bruce in his dressing room (AFTER HANGING OUT WITH BRUCE IN HIS DRESSING ROOM) she was walking down the street and she realized that she had left her satchel of jewels there (SHE HAD LEFT HER SATCHEL OF JEWELS IN BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN’S DRESSING ROOM, YOU SEE) but luckily the security guards were very nice, and they let her back in to get it. Incredible. One of the best stories.

Mental illness is a serious issue that is not to be taken lightly. Duh Town: Population that sentence. But the world is a really big and complicated and scary place, and so we take delight where we can. Get well soon, everyone. (Via BuzzFeed.)

Previously: The NY Daily News Enables A Miley Stalker