I Hate You I Love You, Beth Cooper

Oh wow. This is the worst! Do you remember that movie that you didn’t see because no one saw it called I Love You, Beth Cooper? It was like the poor man’s Can’t Hardly Wait, as if Can’t Hardly Wait wasn’t already the poor man’s Can’t Hardly Wait. Well, they came up with a pretty “clever” viral marketing scheme for their movie. Gawker reports (via the Wall Street Journal):

They paid Kenya Mejia $1,800 to say “I love you, Jake Minor!” in her actual graduation speech, the idea being that she would say she was inspired to call out her crush by seeing the same thing done in this movie, “I Love You, Beth Cooper.” Then the video of this would “go viral,” supposedly.

Woof. Congratulations, corporate headhunters. It looks like your feverish search for a new CEO of Bad Idea Jeans has ended.

What a dumb idea!

Not only did the plan simply not work, since the “viral” video remains stalled at 2,000 views (also, a professional camera crew shot this to look like a home video? Because they did a REALLY good job [shitty]. I hope they charged $100,000,000,000 for their efforts) and the movie bombed and it didn’t even get Jake Minor to fall in love with her (and also she has a boyfriend), but it violated the number one rule of Don Draper’s Rules of Marketing: be drunk on whiskey in another woman’s bed know your audience. Viral video aside, valedictorians are NERDS. That’s just a FACT. How are you going to convince teenagers to spend their hard earned Bubble Tape money (I know what the kids are up to) on a movie if the best person you can find to hype it is some dweeb giving a boring speech that has nothing to do with weed or fucking?!

Someone should shove whoever came up with this plan in a locker.