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Oh Boy, Who Should Jon Gosselin Be Friends With Next?

Man, this guy Jon Gosselin (whoever that is) has awful taste in friends. First he became friends with Christian Audigier, of Ed Hardy, and here he is hanging out with Michael Lohan. With friends like these, who needs nightmares?

I guess the one nice thing about this situation is how it shows us that Jon Gosselin is clearly as bad at making decisions for his own well-being as he is at making decisions for the well-being of his children. OK, maybe that’s not a “nice” thing, but it’s certainly a thing.

Who should Jon Gosselin be friends with next? You ought to know, he’s your boyfriend. I think he should be friends with the following people:

Dick Cheney

Finally, the war criminal and living monster will be able to add “BFF with Jon Gosselin” to his impressive resume (Dick Cheney, constantly updating his resume).

Seth MacFarlane

They have both managed to convince America that it wants the awful thing that they are offering. Great The Worsts think alike.

Katherine Heigl

Admittedly, Heigl is too smart and feminist for Gosselin, but they both like cameras!

Violent J

No explanation necessary.

Joe Francis

Francis has been to jail, and one day, if justice exists, Jon Gosselin will go to jail. And Joe Francis will go BACK to jail. So they can share tips.

They could all get together in the Hamptons for drinks and a friendly game of Celebrity Charity Russian Roulette. WHOOPS, WHO PUT BULLETS IN EVERY CHAMBER?! (Image via JustJared.)