You Guys, We Should Buy More Ice Cream Cake

I’m tired of all these viral marketing campaigns and too-clever-by-half ads where you don’t even know what the ad is for*. There’s no reward for me in figuring out what your weird puzzle ad means when I know that at the end of the day all it means is you redesigned a pack of gum, or whatever. I’m even tired of this supposedly “banned” Sprite ad that is going around today. Admittedly, that is not a puzzle. Or if it is a puzzle, it is a very easy puzzle. SOLUTION: Sprite satisfies your thirst for a torrent of semen. It’s called branding, and Sprite is really smart about doing it.

Enough, Don Draper! Just show me something that I want, and make it dance.

Haha. Yes! That is how you do it. One ice cream cake and one fork, please. (Via AdFreak.)

*I am sure that within a few days I will write about some neat viral ad that is obtuse and overly-clever, because obviously sometimes those ads are fun, and then people will think that they have got me. Well you have not got me. I am Walt Whitman’s “Leaves of Grass” when it comes to my feelings about advertisements. Maybe you should stop trying to catch me in a contradiction and start putting some ice cream cake in your face.