Videogum

Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

You guys, let’s just get to it.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5

This is not death metal. This is not even metal. This is just death.

Posted by: Booruns in response to This Is Your Music Video: Confide’s “Such Great Heights”
Score = 91

#4

I’m not here to make e-friends.

Posted by: That One in response to Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments (7/10/09)
Score = 117

#3

“Roads? We are going to fly this car in the sky because of the future.”

Posted by: NateScott! in response to Best New Party Game 5
Score = 118

#2

“We’re doing our best” = Gabe has several Firefox tabs open at once.

Posted by: oh. in response to A Few Things That, Admittedly, Videogum Has Missed
Score = 133

[Ed. note: Relax, oh..]

#1

(looks down sadly at polio crutches)

Posted by: ladders in response to This Is Your Music Video: Confide’s “Such Great Heights”
Score = 194

[Ed. note: Haha. This comment isn’t funny out of context, but if you go back to the thread and read it in context it is TBS Very Funny.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

You are such a douche. This show is great, but hey, why not be that guy. Good work at being a complete piece of shit.

Posted by: Tim Weyers in response to Entourage: It’s 2004 Somewhere
Score = -99

[Ed. Note: Well, Tim Weyers, I am not going to say that you did not deserve this. Not because you like Entourage. There is nothing wrong with you liking Entourage. Lots of people like Entourage. (Duh!) But come on, mister. I’m not a douche for not liking something that you like, just like you are not a douche for liking something that I don’t. That’s not how liking things works. (Similarly, I am not a piece of shit, for mostly the same reasons.) And my frustration with the tepid anti-dramatic non-stakes of Entourage’s brotastic glamorization of materialistic over-indulgence and chauvinistic sex as competitive sport started long before I worked at Videogum. And even if you disagree with my opinion, I certainly took the time to think it out and explain exactly what it is about the show that I don’t like, which is more than I can say for your hastily farted out opinion here. I know that you returned to the thread to explain yourself and tried to tone down the rhetoric, but maybe too little too late? Why did you not start with the calm, friendly rhetoric from the beginning? It would have made your point much stronger! You would have provided a welcome counter-point to represent the (many) Entourageheads out there. If anything, though, Tim Weyers, you stand as an important lesson to us all. We can all do better at expressing ourselves! Myself included! So thank you for that, Tim Weyers.]

Editor’s Choice

Gabe, I love you, you know I do, because of how we’ve never met but I frequently log into Videogum and read your pithy bons mot and laugh my poor, anonymous proletarian ass off. However. If you bitch much more about how very irksome it is to get paid to watch movies, surf the net, write diamond-briliant pitch-perfect recaps thereof and be showered with fawning adoration and scrilla, you’re going to piss me off. And I know you don’t want to do that because of the love we share, ibid. Nobody likes people who bitch about relatively enviable jobs, during a recession, Gwyneth. Your boulder is thiiiiiiiiis big (I’m holding my fingers and thumb up TOUCHING because zing!).

Posted by: Sarah B. in response to The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: My Boulder Sucks

[Ed. note: You know what, Sarah B.? YOU RIGHT. I do get paid to watch movies, surf the net, and write (your words here) “diamond-brilliant pitch-perfect recaps thereof and be showered with fawning adoration and scrilla.” I have a (you again) relatively enviable job. And we ARE in a recession! I mostly have fun writing this site, and I can’t tell you guys enough (which is why I almost never tell you at all) how glad I am that you are reading in the first place. I’m man enough to admit that SOMETIMES MY DIAMOND SHOES GET TOO TIGHT. It’s good to be reminded that there are worse things in the world than being white in America, in relative good health, and writing stupid pop culture commentary for a living. Gwyneth Paltrow, c’est moi! (SIDENOTE: This is a rare moment of self-realization and acceptance of fair [and, let’s be real, mostly flattering] criticism, and should not be interpreted as motivation to the trolls [monsters hiding amidst monsters] with their anti-good vibrations. But I suppose that is beside the point. The trolls never need motivation. For the trolls, being a troll is motivation in and of itself.)]