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Orphan Is The Bruno Of The Adoption Community

Shut up, gays. You had your turn. NEW OUTRAGE! From the Hollywood Reporter:

Often divided over policy and practice, America’s adoption community has unified in dismay over “Orphan,” a horror movie opening next week that its critics say will fuel negative attitudes toward real-life orphans.

Some adoption advocates are urging a boycott of the movie, which opens July 24.

We’re here, we’re adopted, we want to get married on the ocean!

I’m not sure how you stage a boycott of a movie that not that many people are going to see in the first place, but in any case, this is easily my favorite moral backlash from an outraged interest group in awhile.

Did you guys read the SPOILER ALERT about Orphan? I’m going to repost it just because it makes me LOLOLOL every time. Repeat, this is a SPOILER ALERT:

I know what’s wrong with Esther.

She is really a 33-year-old woman who was born with proportional dwarfism which causes her to have the appearance of a child. She also happens to be a former prostitute, who had wealthy paedophiles for clients. The reason why she has her neck covered is because she was once in asylum and she struggled so much in her straitjacket that it left with her deep scars on her neck.

THA BEST. (Via.) Back to the haterz:

“We are concerned that in addition to its intended entertainment value, this film will have the unintended effect of skewing public opinion against children awaiting families both in the United States and abroad,” said a letter to [Warner Bros. CEO Barry] Meyer from the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.

The adoption community does have a point. Recent polls that I just made up show that the most common fear among prospective foster parents is that their new ward will turn out to be a 33-year-old proportional dwarf with a history of pedophilic prostitution. And it’s not like you can just take them back if it doesn’t work out. The hardest part is that every adopted child, by American Law, comes with a silk choker around their neck that you are not allowed to remove to check for straight-jacket scars. PROBLEMATIC.

Don’t even sweat it, though, dudez. Warner Bros. has got this:

Warner Bros. said it has taken the concerns seriously. Spokesman Scott Rowe told the Associated Press the company is considering adding a pro-adoption message at the end of the film when it comes out in DVD form.

At the end of the movie, the camera pulls back from Esther’s foster parents’ dead bodies, and written on the kitchen floor in their pooling blood it says “ADOPT TODAYYYYY!”