The Offspring Have Something To Say!

Here’s a new video from your band, The Offspring, for a song called “Stuff Is Messed Up.” The message is pretty subtle, so pay very close attention.

When I was in college (that’s right, COLLEGE), a bunch of kids were boycotting Nike, because Nike used children to make their wonderfully high quality/low cost shoes and paying those children very little money for the trouble. Now, I didn’t even wear Nike shoes anyways, but it’s not like you can just know all of that from looking at a pair of NIke shoes, so one day at lunch in the dormitory cafeteria (that’s right, DORMITORY CAFETERIA) I asked one of my friends who was vehemently anti-Nike why he was so vehemently anti-Nike and he rolled his eyes and was like “they use sweatshop labor, Gaaaaaabe.” And I was like, “I know that, that is written on the sandwich board you refuse to take off, even at meals, but I was hoping that you could explain to me the details of their atrocities so that I could better understand what is happening. Since it is a cause that seems so important to you, my impression was that you would be happy to have a willing and engaged audience for your complaints, rather than just being condescending and rude about it. It would appear that my impression was wrong, sir.” And then I pushed my chair back and I stood up and I turned my back to him, and I got a glass of milk, a glass of chocolate milk, a glass of Coke, a glass of Sprite, a glass of root beer, a glass of apple juice, and a glass of orange soda. All of these drinks in very little glasses, mind you. They fit on the same tray!

My point is that I wish I had been friends with The Offspring in college (no I don’t). They would have been happy to beat me over the head with their ideas. Dexter Holland would have dressed up in his Robert McNamara costume (RIP). Because, of course, I went to college in 1967 after taking a few years off to start a family.

I like the rap part best. Pimp my ride and LOL, SHEEPLE.