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Haha, Nice Try, Fringe!

Oh Fringe, with your almost insultingly ridiculous pseudo-science nonsense, your Canal Street X-Files knock-off mysteries, and your constant chase scenes. I gave up on you a long time ago. But secretly I did not give up on you! Fringe, I wish I could quit you! (Brokeback Mountain reference, 2009. Killing it.) Your 9/11 twist ending season finale was one of the most insane things I have ever seen, so kahdooze to you.

But Fringe, it is the summertime! You should be at your beachside laboratory, testing out your BARBECUE DEPRIVATION TANKS, or whatever. With access to the multi-verse there are even more ways to enjoy the beautiful weather! When the show returns in the fall, people who want to know whether or not Leonard Nimoy will use his space-time machine to KILL AND/OR HIRE HITLER will watch. Besides, the nerds are already on your side! You don’t need to put the bald “Observer” character in the stands at yesterday’s All-Star Game.

Clearly, you did. But you didn’t have to.

What, was the cow busy? (You have been treated with CortexiZING.)

(Thanks for the tip, Joseph.)