This Ain’t Your Grandpa’s Weird Al Yankovic (Actually, This May Be Your Grandpa’s Weird Al Yankovic)

His new song (via LaughingSquid) is actually kind of depressing. And dude isn’t even pardoying anything!

Obviously, in the land of the 14-year-old, Weird Al Yankovic is king. But how many of our tiny babies are going to relate to a song about a failed actor spending his days giving Disneyland tours of a plastic safari as his dreams flow away on the milky currents of a fake Amazon river? Do they have the cultural frame of reference to make sense of Annie Liebowitz, 12 Angry Men, Uta Hagen, and Speed the Plow namedrops? More importantly, who cares? The 14-year-olds can take care of themselves. And there should be an emergency number by the phone in the event that they can’t.

I want to say one word to the 14-year-olds. Just one word: iPlastics!