Videogum

Glenn Beck’s Brain Is A Softball

Lots Of Love! OK, so, the confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor began yesterday. Now, as is the tradition in these proceedings, the first day is dedicated to opening statements from each of the senators on the Judiciary Committee, as well as an opening statement from Ms. Sotomayor, but no actual questioning. The questioning begins today. Fair enough! I didn’t make these rules, that’s just how these things work. And it seems perfectly reasonable. There will be plenty of time for questions! But last night Glenn Beck took to the airwaves to complain about the “softball” questions being thrown at Sotomayor, which, just to clarify, in case Glenn Beck is reading this, because he is an idiot and will have missed the point so far, were not questions at all, but opening statements. Right. Got it. (Glenn Beck, still having some trouble with it.)

The outrage! Hey Glenn Beck, why don’t you do another Comedy Movie, you riot! (Via ThinkProgress.)

The Genius Bar at the Apple Store keeps calling Glenn Beck, trying to get his permission to rename it the Glenn Beck Bar. But he can’t return their phone calls because his phone is broken. Because his phone is covered in mayonnaise.

Glenn Beck needs to relax. Once the questioning got started this morning, the Republicans were right on top of it.

JUSTICES NEED TO STOP NUNCHAKU KATAING FROM THE BENCH! (Thanks for the tip, Charlie.)