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HELLO UPPER-EASTSIDERS,

Just kidding. If you live on the Upper Eastside and you read this blog, thank you for reading and please give me a limousine! But I will not cater to you. The rest of us are down here in the streets. Fighting. That being said, there are two bits of important Gossip Girl news this morning. And yes, I use the word “important” very liberally.

1. Taylor Momsen is a vampire.

Holy shit! Vampires are terrifying, and also super hot right now. They are sociopathic murderers and everyone wants to be one. Well, Taylor Momsen is one. From MTV News:

“I’m nocturnal,” Momsen told MTV News. “I’m a vampire, I decided. I write at night. I don’t write a song; I write in a stream of consciousness. I never edit everything. I have books of lyrics. You can write a hundred songs from it, but I try to pick one stream.”

I did not realize you could decide to be a vampire. That goes against all of the mythology that I have come to understand over the years. But Taylor Momsen is famous, what do I know about how the world works. Besides, vampire singer-songwriters are probably different from vampire murderer-sex addicts.

But here is the real news, you xoxo guys xoxo:

2. CHACE CRAWFORD HAS MOVED OUT OF ED WESTWICK’S APARTMENT!!!

OMG! They were living together and now they are NOT living together! From US Weekly:

The source says Crawford — who will star in the upcoming reboot of Footloose — moved out on Monday and into a rented penthouse apartment in the luxe Dwell 95 building in NYC’s Financial District.

Apparently, Westwick is a slob, and Crawford couldn’t take the mess any longer, a source tells Us.

TROUBLE IN PARADISE? It’s going to be much harder for everyone to constantly assume that Ed Westwick and Chace Crawford are two gay guys being gay lovers together. Everyone will do it still, but it will be slightly harder!

You know you love xoxo BLAH.