This is a video of a monkey making out with a cat. So if you don’t want to see a monkey making out with a cat, then don’t watch this video. Or if you think, “surely he is kidding and this video is something other than a monkey making out with a cat,” or even, “maybe there’s a monkey making out with a cat for a little, but probably eventually the monkey stops making out with a cat and this becomes something else,” you are mistaken. I am not kidding. The monkey does not stop. This does not become something else.
HEY YOU TWO, GET A ZOO!* (Via BuzzFeed.)
*John Quincy Adams: Gabe, look, I’m being honest with you, anything else would be disrespectful. I’m telling you, I’m preparing you, I suppose I’m explaining to you that the joke ahead of us is an exceptionally difficult one.”
Gabe: We won’t be going there alone.
John Quincy Adams: Alone? Indeed not, no we have right at our side, we have righteousness at our side. We have Mr Baldwin over there…..
Gabe: I meant my ancestors, I will call into the past, far back to the beginning of time and beg them to come and help me at the joke. I will reach back and draw them into me, and they must come, for at this moment I am the whole reason they have existed at all.