G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra Knows Its Audience

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra looks terrible. So the movie’s best bet is to go after a potential audience of people who think terrible things look great. A Latino Review reader sent in an eye-witness report of a bit of viral stunt marketing over the weekend:

I was sitting on the beach in Ocean Grove, NJ yesterday when a Black helicopter stopped to hover just off shore about 35 feet in the air. All of the fourth of July revelers hoarding the beach ran towards the water to see what was going on.

Then as it slowly approached shore, a rope ladder rolled out and what appeared to be a diver climbed to the bottom of the rope ladder. As I approached the water’s edge, the helicopter the gleaming black helicopter turned only to reveal the G.I. Joe Movie logo as the diver began to wave. The helicopter the proceeded to hover south down the shore with the diver hanging on just over the water for as far south as we could see.

It was very cool as it felt like GI Joe had come to life for me and [it was] effective as EVERYONE I ran into on the Jersey Shore was talking about it.

Perfect. It makes sense that G.I. Joe came to life for this person insofar as G.I. Joe has always been a story about a guy riding a rope ladder five feet from the Jersey Shore on a holiday weekend. “Yo Joe!” It just makes sense.

The thing about G.I. Joe that I don’t understand is why did they waste all of those millions of dollars on a piece of garbage when for much less money they could have just made a feature length movie about pork chop sandwiches. Then I would be all, “ONE ADULT, PLEASE.”

Previously: Inglourious Basterds Being Directly Marketed To Assholes