Michael Phelps Would Like A Footlong Pancake With Sliced Pancakes, Chopped Pancakes, Extra Pancakes, And Pancake Sauce

Michael Phelps is an American champion who has made sports history, and nothing can take that away from him. NOT THAT HE HASN’T BEEN TRYING. But in the case of his new Subway commercial, I’m not even sure what is going on. I mean, I definitely know that eating Subway sandwiches does not make anyone a champion. The closest they have made anyone to a champion is Jared (also featured), and I am pretty sure the words “champion” and “Jared from Subway” have never been used in a sentence together, unless it was “Jared from Subway is the champion of goofy looking slobs who love corporate shills everywhere.” Besides everyone knows that all Michael Phelps eats is pancakes. This ad might as well be for Subway’s $5 Gravity Bongs.

Which it turns out it kind of is?

Sly and the Family Stone? Japanese game shows and a meatball sub? We get it, Subway. Weed stuff. (Via AdFreak.)