Yikes! That looks terrible. I don’t want to live like that. Do you? Some private Ed-Norton-in-that-one-office-scene-in-Fight-Club nightmare, and it’s not even some quietly triumphant anti-authoritarian “fuck you” to the boss you hated, it’s just you being old and wanting to get the phone. And expensive! I didn’t realize that you broke coffee tables every time the phone rang when you suffered from Parkinson’s when your evil doppelganger clotheslined you to the ground! I probably just wouldn’t have a coffee table. Or drink tea. I’m making light of a very serious situation because it’s the only way I know how to deal with the very real human suffering that exists around us on a daily basis!
No, this won’t do. Let’s all agree not to get this thing. Let’s shake on it. Good. Phew. (Via AdFreak.)