Paris Hilton Is Professor The Hills Over Here

Paris Hilton thinks that The Hills is “lame” and “fake,” two things about which she is an EXPERT (Zings Are Blind). From US Weekly:

Paris Hilton says her beau Doug Reinhardt won’t be appearing on MTV’s The Hills again.

“The show is, like, so lame and fake. He doesn’t even want to be a part of it,” Hilton told Wednesday at the Fifi Awards in NYC.

Lauren Conrad famously dumped Reinhardt on the show. Brody Jenner later accused Reinhardt of going behind Conrad’s back by pursuing Stephanie Pratt.

Fair enough, I guess. The Hills is lame and fake. Except that there is more.

But Hilton told Us the show portrayed Reinhardt “in a way he’s not.”

“They make up relationships when they’re not there, and he just thinks it’s lame,” she said. “I’ve never seen the show in my life. I have no idea what it’s about. But he just thought it was cheesy.”

Reinhardt’s reality days aren’t entirely over.

He will appear on the second season of Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, which debuts June 2 on MTV.

“It was great,” she told Us. “He was always on set every single day, giving fun ideas. With him there, he always gave the most amazing ideas. They actually hired him as a producer to be on BFF Dubai [Hilton filmed a version of her American reality show there]. They loved his ideas so much.”

Wait, this is complicated. So, The Hills, which Paris Hilton has never seen, portrayed Doug Reinhardt in a way that he is not? Because The Hills portrayed Doug Reinhardt like a total thumb head, and the only thing he’s done since then is DATE PARIS HILTON. Status: unchanged. Furthermore, Paris’s complaint about The Hills, which she has never seen, is that it “makes up relationships when they’re not there,” while her show forces girls to compete in inane challenges to become her (fake) “best friend”? Which she also filmed in Dubai because of what a real thing that show is? And Doug Reinhardt has fun, amazing ideas? Ouch.

Paris Hilton should start her own University. It will be called Paris Hilton’s University of Logic and Like, Totally Lame Stuff Studies and you can get a degree in Pre-emptively Defending Your Disgusting Boyfriend and Criticizing Things You Don’t Really Know That Much About While Attending Perfume Awards. It’s a total party school. Suma Cum Kill Me.