The Philippines Threatens Alec Baldwin With Violence And Special “Mayhem”

Last week on Letterman, Alec Baldwin made a joke about considering ordering a “Filipino mail-order bride, or maybe a Russian one.” So now they’re mad over in the Philippines. (No word yet from Russia.) This is what one senator said:

“Let him try to come here in the Philippines and he’ll see mayhem,” Revilla said, using a local idiom that implies the speaker will personally administer a beating.

No, not Alec’s pretty pretty face! We don’t want it to “see mayhem!” It seems the senator in question is a former movie star himself. Which is interesting, because so was the President of the Philippines who banned Claire Danes and any movie starring her from the country in 1998 after she expressed sentiments a million times worse than a desire to marry a Filipino woman and have children with her:

(Manila) “smelled of cockroaches, with rats all over, and that there is no sewerage (sic) system, and the people do not have anything – no arms, no legs, no eyes.”

See, that was actually pretty bad (and pretty WTF), but it sounds like maybe the first rule of being an American movie star saying something about a country is don’t make it about the Philippines: their leaders are a bunch of bitter former actors with violent tendencies who sit around watching celebrity interviews all day looking for something to be mad at. So if you’re going to make a harmless mail-order bride joke, you’re better off picking just about any other country. Like maybe next time just Russia. They’re proud of their mail-order brides. (BUT something good can come out of this: we can all start using the local personal-beatdown idiom “see mayhem.”)