Captain Pee of the S.S. Pants has decided that it’s time for the philanthropist in him to take over for once. According to his Twitter, he’s going to donate $100,000 to charity. Not only that, but WE get to choose the charity! Kind of!
Now, this is obviously a good thing. Even if there is something grossly self-serving in using Twitter to both publicize and select the charity, as if Jackman’s good will and generosity were a contest prize rather than an outpouring of his own recognition that he can make the world a slightly better place with a mere fraction of his enormous fortune, the end result is still $100,000 going towards what one assumes will be a worthwhile cause. But the fact of the matter remains: one time Hugh Jackman peed his pants in public, which is the funniest thing that has ever happened, and so even in this brief moment of blatant (indeed, somewhat forced) decency, we must remind him of how damp the crotch of his pants is. (Hint: very.) And we must insist that everyone who suggests a charity to Mr. Jackman over Twitter, use the following construction:
Please give the money 2 [insert charity here] to help provide clean, dry [select: pants/medicine/housing] with no pee soaking it in public in front of everyone LOL whatsoever.
Change tha world. Let’s go y’all!!!