Pizza Ghraib, Basically

Anyone who has worked in the service industry knows that it’s a frustrating and powerless life. Doing dull, unrewarding work for little pay while simultaneously having to put up with the careless and unrealistic demands of over-entitled customers is a thankless way to spend one’s days. The result, of course, is the unfortunate impotent-employ-retaliation, manifested in the rare but occasional employee-bath-in-the-sink or Waiting-screenplay incident.

Meet Kristy and Michael. They are two Domino’s employees who have made an ENTIRE SERIES of videos of themselves fucking with customers’ food. The example posted after the jump is particularly painful to watch because it’s not actually in angry retaliation to a customer ignoring Kristy and Michael’s basic humanity with his/her adenoidal complaints. It’s just straight up being gross for no good reason. It’s like, you know how in Event Horizon all of those astronauts are doomed to an eternity of suffering in hell not because of any personal moral failings but just because they happened to take a job on the ship with the experimental gravity drive that opened a portal to hell? And how that kind of fucked up your whole young adult understanding of how the after-life and morality even worked if that was a possible outcome, just being in the wrong place at the wrong time? This is like that, but with CinnaStix.

It must be weird how your boyfriend and girlfriend work together. Awkward!

The fact that she’s reading sTori Telling is just adding stupid insult to barf injury. There are more videos here, including one called “Poopie Dishes,” if something is wrong with you and you need to see more videos (via Dlisted).

Since their videos were posted on YouTube, Kristy and Michael have purportedly been tracked down and fired. So I guess that’s good. Just like how Lynndie England and Charles Graner were fired and that was how we ended the Iraq war.

This kid knows:

(P.S. You don’t have to thank me for comparing the totally gross but ultimately inconsequential decisions made by two sub-literate Domino’s employees to the worst example of human rights abuses carried out by the United States government resulting in the near-permanent dissolution of our national image in the international community, not to mention the just straight up person-to-person human horror of that disaster. The satisfaction of a job well done is all I need.)