The “Your Business Card Is Crap” Guy Teaches Us How To Pack

Fitted Sweats was so intrigued by yesterday’s viral hit “Your Business Card Is Crap” that he did some research, and found an amazing video by the same guy. It turns out his name is Joel Bauer, and he’s one of those famous-in-a-very-small-world “Passion And Profit” motivational speakers (and is also called an “infotainer” and and “weath mentor.”) Turns out, Joel has put his own videos up on Google Video, like this one, where he indulges his fans by showing them, in detail so reminiscent of a less dapper Patrick Bateman that it’ll blow your mind, how he packs his luggage before a speaking engagement. I don’t think we’ve ever posted something this long on Videogum, but luckily, the crazy starts at :01 and doesn’t let up until 20:54, so you can enjoy it for as long as you want, but if you’re like me, you won’t be able to look away. (Also, a bonus video of Joel on TV!):

This suitcase is “airtight like a frog’s butt” (that is just one of about a thousand quotable moments, here):

“I talk about mandarin collars a lot with women.” Also, “I don’t even listen to music, I listen to motivational concepts and my own pitches.” Also, finding out this guy is into karate is the least shocking thing ever. Bonus! Here’s Joel on TV talking about both his business card and his packing strategy:

I feel like if Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark really existed, they would be just like this guy. There’s a lot more exploring to do. I think Joel Bauer is about to be an internet celebrity in a way he never intended.