Some stupid rich person with no life will be spending a lot of money for what will surely be an awkward, brief, unsatisfying lunch for two with Mad Men’s dreamy Don Draper and avowed “comedy nerd” Jon Hamm, who will absolutely for sure not, during the course of the lunch, realize that he and the stupid rich person have a similar sense of humor as they riff back and forth, quoting from Wet Hot American Summer and having a flirtatious fake “argument” about their favorite Mr. Show sketches (hers will be “The Joke: The Musical” while his is the more masculine “The Audition,” but truly, both will be right), realize that they are kindred spirits and should at the very least be best friends forever.
Nope, that stupid rich person, whoever she or he turns out to be on April 16th when the ebay auction for a charity benefiting female filmmakers comes to its mercenary close, will instead realize immediately that the prize she or he has bought with her or his stupid filthy probably-somehow-connected-to-the-Madoff-scandal money was the realization that Jon Hamm, while polite and warm as can be, would rather be pretty much anywhere else on the planet than having lunch with some desperate pathetic rich fan. He prefers more interesting people. With lives.
(This also applies to the “Lunch with Paul Rudd” auction, which is currently beating Jon Hamm by over $300. Thanks for the tip, Anna!)