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Lost: Shooting Babies Is Ben’s Achilles Heel

A rare miss, Lost.

Don’t get me wrong, even Lost’s rare misses are major hits. Last night’s episode was great, na-doi. But I think we can all be adults and admit that Sawyer’s beard was inconsistent some of the answers to persistent questions in last night’s episode were overly convenient and/or disappointing. Like, the mystery behind the Others abducting Alex from Rousseau was just that Ben got nervous? And how would killing Rousseau have “protected” the island, as baby Widmore claimed? Something tells me that the island could handle a 26-year-old French woman living in a tent on the beach. And when we finally get a look inside the secret Smoke Monster Summoning Cave, it’s just a puddle of water with a drain in it and you say “I’ll be outside”? Not to mention the botched assassination attempt against Penny, which explains what we’ve all sort of suspected for weeks about how Ben broke his arm and his face, but at the same time doesn’t force us to completely turn against him, but then at the double-reverse-same-time is also kind of disappointing, not so much because I care whether Penny lives or dies (either way 4 me is fine), but because it turns the whole mystery into a red herring. Too many more false leads and the show is going to collapse.

And then there is what might be the worst scene in the entire series*:

Haha. The smoke monster writes its name on its jeans. The smoke monster wears all black and works at the Cinnabon. The smoke monster has written 65 songs, and they’re all about Joe. Joe lies when he cries.

Ghost Alex pushing Ben up against the wall and threatening to destroy him is pretty good. ELECTRA. But this Spooky Hallmark CGI Ghost Of Alexmas Past is ridiculous. Let’s just pretend it never happened.

The most interesting part of the episode, though, was how things are heating up between Team Ben and Team Widmore.

Team Ben seems like a pretty small team. He tried to snake Locke with Caesar, and then he killed Caesar, and then he was basically waiting for his chance to kill Locke again. He shot Desmond and he almost shot Penny, and his whole justification for this war seems to have started with Widmore leaving the island a few times? Some rules are made to be broken. So far all we have against Widmore is that he told Ben to kill Rousseau’s baby, and that he keeps trying to go back to the island after his banishment. Whatevers. AND YET, after the Smoke Monster Poetry Slam, the island has clearly chosen Ben to fight for Team Locke, which suggests that Team Widmore IS a losing team, despite a complete lack of evidence to support what is the matter with Team Widmore**.

In any case, the smoke monster is your boyfriend.

*Obviously, the worst scene in Lost is any scene in the worst episode of Lost, “Expose,” but let’s pretend that never even happened.

**The more we learn about Widmore’s ceaseless desire to go back to the Island, the more it throws his whole plot to get rid of Desmond by sending him to the Island into total confusion. Right? He hates Desmond so much that he sends him to the one place he wants to be? Questions!