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Ed Westwick Is Fat, And He Ruined His Pants

Chuck Bass is getting Chuck Fatt! THAT’S ONE SECRET I’LL ALWAYS TELL. From MSNBC:

Chuck Bass may become even more off-putting in future episodes of “Gossip Girl” — and not just because of his slimy behavior. Actor Ed Westwick’s constant partying is starting to show on his waistline, In Touch Weekly reports.

“Ed has been gaining a lot of weight — not just around the waist, but throughout his whole body,” said an on-set source. “First, the costume department had to buy him new, bigger pants. Then, his shirts and jackets got way too snug. The costumers even requested that producers talk to Ed — they don’t want Chuck to be fat!”

Uh oh, fat idea jeans.

We’re gonna need a bigger pair of nantucket red chinos embroidered with whales.

On the one hand, it’s nice to see a popular actor getting the same invasive body-image critique that actresses have been dealing with for years. Riiiight? Isn’t it? I mean, if we’re not going to stop torturing women with impossible standards of physical beauty, we might as well make everyone miserable, am I right? So smart.

On the other hand, of course Chuck Bass is getting fat. All he does is laze around in silk robes making louche faces and alluding to sex with invisible stewardesses (nice try). Dude takes a limo to school. And those platters of bagels and danish and butter pastry (so much bagels and danish and butter pastry) Lilly keeps ordering for breakfast aren’t going to finish themselves. NOM NOM NOM, am I right? Dan Humphrey just got out his red pen and changed his story to “The Story of Charlie Fat Trout,” because of how Dan Humphrey’s the best writer. (Second best.)