Never Back Down 2 The Streets

Channing Tatum, whoever that is, has a new movie coming out this spring called Fighting, which combines the increasingly popular UFC ground-and-pound mixed martial arts combat with America’s eternal love for capable street vendors defending their blankets. Trailer, you guys:

This movie looks like it’s about an awful lot more than Fighting. If you’re going to name a movie Fighting, here is what I expect from the trailer: all fighting. And don’t try and tell me that Fighting is a metaphor for the constant struggle of modern life in an urban environment, because no one has ever decided that they needed to start taking night classes in flying roundhouse elbows at the Learning Annex to get themselves out of debt for the sake of their children. No. Fighting is fighting. This movie should be called Fighting And Taxis And Falling In Love And Being A Gentleman And Gambling And Selling Books Off Of Blankets And Fancy Apartments With Beautiful Terraces And Riding The Subway (Is That The F Train?) With Your Shirt Off And Terrence Howard And Punching Doors In Frustration Because You Were Betrayed By A Man You Thought Was Your Friend The Night Before The Biggest Fight Of Your Life. That’s what this movie should be called, duh.