Your sense of self is constructed from the accumulation of your life experiences, the books you’ve read, the lessons of your parents, etc, etc. But a lot of it is theoretical, abstract. And as you get older, this abstraction only becomes more obvious, and more difficult to accept. We in America lead a life of such cultured ease that our confrontation with genuine difficulty is rare, and to be taken out of one’s comfort zone requires effort and determination. So, there comes a time in everyone’s life when they wonder what they are made of. An ancient desire to test one’s mettle. What kind of man am I? What kind of woman? There is a savage desire to throw yourself against the world, and see which of you moves. In order to determine this brute relationship, and to gauge yourself against your fellow human beings, a test is required. For some, it is the spirit quest, a journey of survival into the wasteland. For some it is conquering a childhood fear, to prove that you are the master of your own destiny. For some it is cage fighting.
And for some, it is attempting to watch this 10 minute long unedited footage of the Gossip Girl photo shoot for Rolling Stone.
Well? It’s like a pain Bar Mitzvah.
I EARNED MY DUNE EYES.