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Lost: Between Iraq And A Lost Place (Boo! Sorry!)

I think you’ll all agree with me when I say OH MAN. You guys! Lost!

So, baby Sayid kills a chicken in Iraq because he was always a killer, even as a little boy, it’s what he was born to do, because that’s a thing. It’s not a complicated combination of a brutal father, growing up in a war-torn country with a culture of tyrannical violence, and joining a dictator’s army. Dude was just born that way. Later, Ben says “This is who you are,” and I’m just like OMG, I know! I saw him kill that chicken!

So, the Dharma hippies are trying to figure out what to do with Sayid because they think he is a hostile who has broken the truce. Meanwhile, baby Ben keeps bringing Sayid sandwiches because he wants Sayid to help him escape because his dad is a mean jerk, and now we are starting to realize that maybe there is more to Ben than we thought! He is just a sad, lonely kid with an abusive dad! It’s just like season 4 of The Wire when we realize that the story of Duky, Randy, MIchael and Namond is the story of how an Avon Barksdale is created. By the streets! By the island! By bad fathers! Always bad fathers. Meanwhile, Sawyer punches Sayid in the face, but Sayid doesn’t want to play his reindeer games, and by reindeer games I mean making sure that he can peacefully live with Juliette in the ’70s forever games. Sayid is on his own.

They take him to see “a psychopath” who straps him to a tree and gives him drugs on a sugarcube that make him dreamily tell everyone the truth. Some psychopath. The Dharma Initiative hippies wouldn’t know what a psychopath was if it knocked the ultimate frisbee out of their hands. Sayid tells everyone exactly what happened, but that makes him sound crazy, like Bruce Willis in 12 Monkeys, except the craziest part is that 12 MONKEYS HASN’T EVEN COME OUT YET!

That night, the elite head hippie Gaia council of the Dharma Initiative sits in Horace’s living room trying to decide what to do about Sayid and everyone (except Sawyer) decides to kill him. Really? Everyone? Everyone is very quick to vote to murder someone, especially you, Ethan’s mom. What is it about this island and the casual taking of another human being’s life? But even more importantly:

I KNEW IT! It all comes back to Ann Arbor!

But so Sawyer tries to help Sayid escape, but Sayid won’t escape because of how now he has his purpose? He’s Charlie now, basically. Enter flaming bus. Enter baby Ben. And then, of course, OH SHIT!

OH SHIT!

He’s probably dead. Space-time.

He’s not dead. But still, OH SHIT!

But also, when Ben goes to visit Sayid at the Dominican Republic Habitat for Humanity? And tells him that he thinks someone murdered Locke?

Ben: 0
Widmore: 1

Keep track. Keep up. Let’s go, y’all!!!