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Would It Be Possible To Come Up With A Weirder Cast For The Three Stooges?

The cast has been announced for the Farrelly Brothers’ completely unnecessary (but very timely?) Three Stooges movie, and it is ridiculous. From Variety:

Studio has set Sean Penn to play Larry, and negotiations are underway with Jim Carrey to play Curly, with the actor already making plans to gain 40 pounds to approximate the physical dimensions of Jerome “Curly” Howard.

The studio is zeroing in on Benicio Del Toro to play Moe.

Wait, whuuuuuuuuut? Hurry up, studio. Zero in! You don’t want the only person in the world who could play Moe to drop out of the project. Wait, what did I say? Not the only person, I meant the last person. Better. Why does this movie even exist? I know that Hollywood is out of ideas or whatever, but this doesn’t even seem like a rehashed idea. This seems like confusion over how ideas even work in the first place.

It’s basically impossible to come up with a weirder, less likely cast for this movie. But I have tried. After the jump, four slightly more improbable–but only slightly–casts for the Farrelly Brothers Three Stooges movie.

Larry: Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens
Moe: Elle Fanning
Curly: Freddie Prinze Jr.

Larry: Dane Cook
Moe: Paul Giamatti
Curly: A plate of bacon-wrapped jalapeno poppers

Larry: Dax Shepard
Moe: M’onique
Curly: The ghost of Susan Sontag

Larry: Peter Falk
Moe: A Tamagootchi keychain
Curly: Dr. Drew

Honestly, some of those still make more sense than the actual cast. Write it down, Hollywood. The Three Stooges 2: The Edge of Reason is going to be 2013’s Slumdog Milliona[gunshot].