You Guys, I Am Worried About Diddy’s Priorities

2009 is all about positivity. Everyone is exhausted by the impotent snarkiness and casual warfare of the early ’00s. This feeling is all around us. Slumdog Millionaire won all of the Academy Awards this year by taking one of the most miserable, inhuman places on Earth and turning it into a colorful, magical fantasy. Hooray! Aesthetic change we can believe from the comfort of an air-conditioned movie theater in.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m on board. I want to Paint, Exercise, and Play Ping Pong, too. And very few people have done as much for the positivity movement of 2009 than P. Daddy with his two-week-old Twitter account. Every morning he urges his followers to change the world, and ends each message with one of his game-changing sign offs. Capping a Twitter post with “Let’s go, y’all!!!” is the biggest meme of the year. Good. It’s a great meme.

But on this morning’s episode of P. Twitty TV (get it? You get it), which is a celebration of getting his 200,000th Twitter follower, and an expression of Diddy’s irrepressible enthusiasm, you start to get a sense that maybe this man has it twisted.

Put God first and get all the money. Perfect. Total message of surrendering your selfish ego to a higher purpose. Got it.

It’s weird because Diddy keeps talking about how we’re a family and how we’re going to change the world, but I’m starting to get the sense that his Twitter account is just another extension of his multi-platform media conglomerate used to continually promote Diddy’s various projects and colognes. Just kidding. That can’t be it. Let’s all share and be friends. The world is ours. It’s mostly Diddy’s but it’s kind of ours. Let’s go, y’all!!!