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Now You, Too, Can Create An Infuriating Lost Mystery

The climactic moment of every Lost season finale is given a top-secret nickname that bears little to no relation to what actually happens in the episode, but is recorded as part of Lost’s (copious, often infuriating) Official Mythology. And this year that nonsensical nickname is going to be created by a lucky fan! Maybe you! Probably not you! But maybe you! From TV Guide:

TVGuide.com has learned exclusively that in this week’s official Lost podcast, posting to ABC.com on Thursday, Team Darlton will formally invite viewers to suggest a nickname for the season finale’s final moment.

In seasons past, that head-scratcher has been dubbed “Bagel” (Walt is abducted by the Others!), “Challah” (Penny’s research team locates the island!), “The Rattlesnake in the Mailbox” (Jack is flashing forward!) and “Frozen Donkey Wheel” (which, quite literally, Ben rotated to move the island).

Bagel? Challah? Come ON, Hollywood! We get it, everyone’s Jewish. But do we really need to toss around bubbe’s favorite recipes like it’s secret code? (What, your grandma doesn’t make homemade bagels?) If this season’s climactic moment is nicknamed “Rugelach,” I’m going to smoke monster myself. And what kind of contest is this anyway? We’re four seasons deep and we’re just learning about these secret meaningless code names now. (By “we,” I mean normal human beings, take it easy Lostheads who’ve known about “Challah” 4ever.) This is not a high profile prize package. Second place is getting to name a mole on Damon Lindelof’s back. “Sour Cream Coffee Cake”!