Left-Right-Left-Right-A-B-One Tree Hill

Apparently, in the next episode of One Tree Hill, which I have never watched, and of which I know absolutely nothing, everyone will be a The Sims? Perfect. It’s 2002, so this stunt seems right on time to me.

So this show is all about people standing in their backyards? There is an awful lot of standing around in backyards in this promo. “What are you guys doing today?” “Standing in our backyard, duh.” We are, too.” “Not me, guys, I’m going to go sit in a hospital waiting room.” “Weirdo.” That’s a scene from One Tree Hill, probably. There’s no way to know whether or not that’s exactly what a scene from One Tree Hill is like. Is that guy the weirdo of the show? Why is he in the Sims hospital? Has a Sims been hurt? Oh no! Get well soon Leroy Jenkins! (That’s basically a Sims, relax, nerds.)

I like when the promo says “Don’t Miss It!” because it makes me laugh, and I love laughing. Oh, don’t miss a show about backyards that I’ve never watched because I’ve never thought “I wonder what would happen if we picked up where Dawson’s Creek left off” that has been co-opted as a promotional tool for an upcoming rehash of a nine-year-old videogame about sleeping and buying groceries? I PROMISE NOT TO MISS IT.